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That same year, life insurance provider Ethos put together a survey stating that 68% of Americans agree that discussing end of life plans with loved ones is important but that less than half have actually done so. They even go on to give the stats on taboo subjects people would rather discuss and death came in SIXTH behind money, mental health, sex, politics, and religion.
Looking at these numbers, there seems to be some kind of disconnect. We, as a society, are quite frankly obsessed with true crime related deaths. Every week it seems like there’s a new podcast, book, tv show, or movie coming out documenting the latest viral crime (typically of a violent nature) but we, as a society, can’t seem to show that same devotion to discussing our own deaths with the same vigor. Why? Why is it easier for us to read and watch about the real deaths of others, violent deaths at that, regularly? Why does talking about our own death or the eventual deaths of our loved ones make us uncomfortable when the deaths of strangers have become our entertainment?
First of all, this is not meant as a bashing against the true crime genre or those amongst us who enjoy it. Trust me, I’ve been known to be a big true crime aficionado even back when people thought it was weird to take an interest in serial killers so I totally get the appeal. What I’m interested in finding out is why can’t we seem to take that love of true crime and fascination with death and translate it into our own lives and deaths to make death an easier topic of discussion when it really matters?
Since there doesn’t seem to be any real research into this topic and the correlation between love of true crime and interest in talking about death, I’m going to take my own stab (no pun intended) at trying to figure out why talking and preparing for our own death isn’t as prevalent as our shared discussions around true crime deaths.
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If I had to take an easy guess, I’d have to say that talking about the death of a stranger makes the idea of death less scary and further away. Because we don’t know this person, the death is uncomplicated. It has no bearing on our real lives and therefore we don’t have to feel overwhelmed by or anxious about it the way we might if we were focusing on planning for our own death or that of a loved one.
There’s also something to be said for the way true crime cases go viral allowing us to talk at length about any specific details of a death with others who are like minded in our interest of the case. We can get our fill of all of the particulars for as long as the case is a hot topic and sometimes even beyond without fear of coming off as morbid or weird or sad. That’s not necessarily the case when it comes to the real deaths in our own lives because society tends to put a time limit on grief. Death and grief make us uncomfortable and we like to interact with it as little as possible in our day to day life.
In the process of researching this piece, I came across an article written by Maxwell Sater for The Inevitable that I encourage you to read fully when you have a chance, but the gist of the article is that those of us who absorb true crime works are in fact contemplating death all the time and therefore could “possibly” do death better. If that’s the case, which I personally believe it should be, why do the numbers seem to prove otherwise?
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Obviously, I’m just one person and all the internet research I can do will never give me an answer to this question when there aren’t any studies being done that pits our true crime obsession versus our death talk aversion. But until I find the resources to create a study myself or someone with the resources already sees this article and starts looking into it, it’s up to us to come up with our own conclusions.
So, I turn to you. If you’re here I have to assume you find interest in talking and learning about death but are you also a fan of true crime? Do you see a correlation between an interest in talking about death with our current cultural obsession with true crime or do you, like me, think it’s odd that even though we love true crime it doesn’t seem to extend into talking frankly about our own deaths? I’d love to hear your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree, so be sure to leave a comment below!